Ripples in the Lake Chapter One

Ripples in the lake

Chapter one

 ‘Budge up Vi, my arse needs more space than this these days’

There wasn’t much room with the three of them in the van’s cab. They’d all thickened out through the years, and Audrey wasn’t one to be uncomfortable if there was any choice in the matter.

‘you should try things from where I am,  I’d forgotten I had the places that gear lever just got to’

The journey would take most people no more than 6 hours, but with Wilf driving, avoiding motorways and refusing to turn right unless he had to, they were looking at a road trip of at least a week.

The van was packed with boxes, suitcases and various items to furnish the three bed stone cottage they were heading to. Nestling on the edge of a wooded hill with a steep track leading up from the lake it had become the holy grail of a shared late-life crisis, and the three friends had made a decided to cash in the equity and leave the children mourning their inheritance. A little further down the valley was a pretty, touristy village, with a population apparently consisting of a strange hybrid of ex-forces, white witches and builders with a fetish for Kevin McCloud.

‘I still like ‘Elsinor’  Wilf said, the women jeered him.  

‘fool. You liked Dunroamin too though didn’t you. Any way it’s got a name, just you don’t like it’

‘well, ‘ he protested  ‘life in a country idyll shouldn’t be lived somewhere called Waterloo, not unless you’re a gay old sailor anyway.’

‘well, you never know your luck, you might nab yourself a distinguished rear-admiral from down the hill’

Still cheerful at the outset of the journey they laughed gently and settled into an amiable silence.  Naming the house could wait though they occasionally punctuated the journey with other  suggestions  they definitely wouldn’t use.  They were overtaken by everything else on the road, and the early autumn daylight started to fade.  They had decided to only venture out to a hotel they had been to with the over 60s, which had a lovely landscaping by capability brown and a tea room looking out over the formal gardens, even though the fountains made Wilf need to use the toilet. It also had been the backdrop to the first glimmer of the plan they were now realising. It held a very tender place in their hearts. It also had a one way drive and a large car park, which meant Wilf didn’t have to reverse on the first day.  

Having negotiated the parking, and extracted their overnight bags they established themselves in the empty lounge bar, ordered dinner and started on the drinks and  journey planning.

‘right Vi, you’re driving tomorrow, and I think we can get up to Exeter.’

‘I’m not driving in Exeter’

‘ you don’t have to drive in Exeter,’

‘well why did you say we had to drive in Exeter

‘I didn’t say we had to drive in Exeter -‘

‘he did didn’t he aud?'

‘he did yes Vi’

‘no I didn’t,  this is going to be a very long week if you keep this up’ Wilf raised his hand to prevent further interruption. ‘we have to get to Norma’s before it gets dark, she’s this side of Exeter, that’s where we need to get to. I’ve put her address in the sat nav –‘

‘I’m not using it if its that woman’

‘I like that man’s voice, who is it? That tall man…you know. The one with the moustache and the silly walk’

‘Hitler? Have they put his voice on Sat Nav? I don’t think I want to follow instructions from Hitler.’

‘Not Hitler, that man, you know, oh god what is his name’ Audrey scratched her head

‘My first was a tall man with a moustache. Ginger he was.’ Vi  breathed out heavily with a wistful look

‘Hitler wasn’t ginger’

‘Not Hitler, Derek.’

‘Derek who? How can you tell he’s ginger just from his voice?’

Wilf and Vi both looked at Audrey without being able to think of a response.  Wilf tried to get them on track again

‘I’ve put  their address into the sat nav, yes it’s the man, and it should take us an hour and a half in, Norma said she’d do us some lunch , and Geoff will be home in the afternoon, and he’ll have a look at the exhaust and we can start out on Thursday morning nice and early for Tom.’

Vi’s golden son. He always visited and phoned, always around at Christmas since Dad died, and as happy for Vi and her friends as any son could decently be, but he was the most boring man in the world, with the most boring wife and the most boring house and the most boring cat in the world.

The bonhomie was dulled slightly round the table as they contemplated that overnight stay.

‘John Cleese!’ Audrey shouted triumphantly