A Letter of Apology

Dear Mum

I’m sorry I ignored you when you called and called and called,

And about the footprints and the mud around the walls,

I’m sorry ‘bout the snoring when you let me share your bed,

And about the black eye that I gave you with my head.

I’m sorry about the door frame and the damage from my teeth,

And about the Christmas tree and what I left beneath,

I’m sorry that I’m stupid when you need me to be smart,

And that my fishy breath offends and frequently I fa...

I’m sorry I’m a coward when you want me to be brave,

And that I am naughty when important to behave,

I’m sorry I was sleeping when the postman rang the bell,

But when your special friend arrived I raised a merry hell.

I’m sorry about sniffing where it’s considered impolite,

And for welcoming you home from work with a pile of sh…

I try so hard to please you but sometimes I forget

When you’re gone for ages, I think you’ve left, and then I fret.

So I lay prostrate before you and confess to all my sins,

And promise that in future I won’t empty out the bins

I beg that you forgive me with those eyes that you adore

And promise that I will not be a bad dog any more.

Yours, The Dog  

(by Sally)